Forum 
A Well Deserved Success
Paul Ko, Torrey Pines High 11th Grade
It has already been 6 years since I first participated in the KSEA-sponsored NMSC (National Math and Science Competition) and I ponder upon what motivated me to continue participating in this competition for such a long time. For one thing, I truly believe that this competition in part has made me who I am today.
When I was first introduced to this competition in 6th grade through a recommendation from my Korean school math teacher, I was not at all enthusiastic because the competition seemed pointless and tiresome. I even believed that I could win the competition easily because I thought I was the “smart guy,” by which everyone (family, friends, teachers, etc.) referred to me at the time. In other words, I was an ignorant and arrogant little kid who truly believed that he was a genius who could always succeed without much effort. However, the NMSC soon proved me otherwise. On that day of the competition, I realized how wrong I was about myself. Not only did I struggle to solve many of the problems on the competition test but I also did not place in the end. Although there were many others who did not place, my failure in this competition came especially as a big shock to me. I was suddenly embarrassed as well as fearful of how people who used to think I was brilliant would think of me now. I was too embarrassed to make eye contact with anyone, even with my mom, because I felt guilty of letting everyone’s “expectations” down. I recall running out of the building in which the awards ceremony was held because I was so embarrassed. Other thoughts had also gone through my mind in an instant but I felt most strongly embarrassment, guilt, and disappointment on that day. Ever since, I spent countless days wondering if I really was the “smart guy” everyone thought I was. I had fears of losing such a reputation because it had never occurred to me that I was not a genius. I also had fears that I will have to live a whole different life of mediocrity since I could not be a genius anymore.
Fortunately, those fears eventually allowed me to become the better person that I am today. I decided that I no longer wanted the “smart guy” reputation because it always pressured me to be the best and depressed me whenever I could not. I decided to be more humble and diligent: I will always try my best at everything so that the even a negative result will no longer come as a shock to me like the NMSC did 6 years ago. Even if I had a positive result, I would never consider myself a “genius” but a person who succeeded merely because he tried his best at something. Even then I will never slack and try my best at everything to leave no rooms for regrets.
The results of my new determination were marvelous. Ever since my first NMSC as a 6th grader, I had never received lower than a third place in NMSC. Not only that, I received 1st place for the first time, as a 9th grader. The 5 years after my first NMSC were years when I could be proud of myself even if I did not receive 1st place all the time. I proved to myself that working diligently while staying humble always leads to success. Through that one “tragic” experience as a 6th grader, I truly learned how success could be achieved more methodically and precisely. Even today, I confront everything with a full effort because I feel relief from having known that I tried my best. If I do not, I always regret the result because I know that I could have done much better. I also never forget to stay humble because I start to slack in the instant when I have even a bit of arrogance in me.
Currently, I am a junior attending
I hold my highest regards for KSEA and NMSC for allowing me the opportunity to become the better person I am today and I sincerely hope that this competition continues on.
